Why Men Struggle More During the Holidays (And Why No One Talks About It)
- First Step Men's Therapy
- Dec 13
- 4 min read
For many people, the holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, connection, and rest. But for a significant number of men, this time of year feels heavier, lonelier, and more stressful than expected.
Searches for "holiday depression in men", "men’s mental health during the holidays", and "loneliness during the holidays" spike every December—yet few men openly talk about what they’re actually experiencing.
So why do men struggle more during the holidays, and why does it so often go unspoken?
The Hidden Weight of the Holidays for Men
The holidays tend to amplify pressure points that already exist in men’s lives. Financial stress increases with gift-giving, travel, and end-of-year expenses. Family gatherings can reopen unresolved conflicts, strained relationships, or long-standing feelings of disappointment. For men who are separated, divorced, or estranged from family, the sense of isolation can be especially intense.
Men are also more likely to tie their sense of worth to productivity and providing. When work slows down or expectations rise at home, many men feel they’re falling short—even if no one says it out loud. This contributes to holiday stress in men, which often shows up as irritability, withdrawal, or emotional shutdown rather than sadness. Many men we work with report the holidays being a major struggle for them.
Why Men’s Mental Health Suffers During the Holidays
Unlike women, men are less likely to express vulnerability or seek emotional support. From a young age, many men are taught to “handle it,” “stay strong,” or avoid burdening others. During the holidays—when everyone else appears happy—these beliefs intensify.
Men experiencing depression around Christmas often minimize their symptoms:
“It’s just stress.”
“Other people have it worse.”
“I should be grateful.”
As a result, emotional pain gets pushed down rather than processed. This internal pressure can worsen anxiety, low mood, sleep problems, and feelings of numbness—core components of men’s mental health struggles during the holidays.
Loneliness During the Holidays Hits Men Hard
Loneliness during the holidays is one of the most common issues men report, even when surrounded by people. Being physically present at family events doesn’t always mean feeling emotionally connected. Men may feel unseen, unheard, or disconnected from partners, relatives, or friends.
For single men, men without children, or men navigating separation or divorce, the holidays can feel particularly isolating. Traditions change, routines disappear, and reminders of what’s missing become unavoidable. Research consistently shows that loneliness during the holidays affects men deeply, yet men are far less likely to name it or reach out for support.
Why No One Talks About It
There are several reasons men’s holiday struggles remain largely invisible:
Shame and comparison – Social media and family gatherings reinforce the idea that everyone else is doing fine.
Anger replaces sadness – Men often express emotional pain through irritability or frustration rather than sadness.
Avoidance coping – Increased alcohol use, overworking, or emotional withdrawal are common ways men cope with holiday stress.
Fear of ruining the holidays – Many men avoid speaking up because they don’t want to dampen the mood or become “the problem.”
These patterns make holiday depression in men easy to miss—by others and by the men themselves.
Signs a Man May Be Struggling During the Holidays
Men don’t always look “depressed” in the traditional sense. Common signs of men’s holiday mental health struggles include:
Increased irritability or anger
Drinking more than usual
Avoiding social events
Working excessively
Feeling emotionally numb or detached
Trouble sleeping or constant exhaustion
Recognizing these signs early can prevent burnout, depression, or crisis from worsening.
What Actually Helps Men During the Holidays
Quick fixes like “stay positive” or “just be grateful” rarely help. What does help is permission—to feel, to set boundaries, and to talk honestly.
Helpful steps for supporting men’s mental health during the holidays include:
Setting limits with family expectations
Reducing alcohol use, which often worsens mood and sleep
Having one honest conversation with someone safe
Reframing therapy as support, not weakness
For many men, therapy provides a rare space to speak openly without judgment. Addressing holiday depression, loneliness, and stress early can make a meaningful difference—both now and into the new year.
You’re Not Weak—You’re Human
If the holidays feel harder than they should, you’re not broken. You’re responding to real emotional and social pressures that many men experience but rarely discuss. Men’s mental health during the holidays deserves compassion, understanding, and support.
At First Step Men’s Therapy, we help men navigate stress, depression, anger, and relationship challenges—especially during high-pressure times like the holidays. You don’t have to carry it alone, and you don’t have to wait until things fall apart to get support.
Men’s Therapy Support Across Ontario
If you’re struggling with holiday depression, loneliness, or stress, professional support is available across Ontario. At First Step Men’s Therapy, we provide in-person and virtual therapy for men, including:
First Step Men’s Therapy provides support for men experiencing holiday depression, loneliness, stress, and emotional burnout across Ontario, including:
Toronto, Ottawa, Mississauga, Brampton, Vaughan, Markham, Richmond Hill, Thornhill, North York, Scarborough, Etobicoke, York Region, Oakville, Burlington, Milton, Ajax, Pickering, Whitby, Oshawa, Newmarket, Aurora, King City, Stouffville, Guelph, Kitchener, Waterloo, Cambridge, Hamilton, St. Catharines, Niagara Falls, Barrie, Orillia, Collingwood, London, Woodstock, Stratford, Windsor, Chatham, Sarnia, Kingston, Belleville, Peterborough, Sudbury, North Bay, Thunder Bay.
We also offer virtual men’s therapy across Ontario, making support accessible regardless of location.