Letting go is something we all struggle with at some point in our lives. It’s one of those things that sounds simple but feels impossible when we’re in the thick of it. Maybe it’s the end of a relationship that still lingers in our thoughts, a childhood wound that shapes how we see the world, or the heavy weight of responsibilities and expectations we carry every day. No matter what it is, letting go is never easy—but it’s also never about forgetting or dismissing our experiences. Instead, it’s about loosening our grip, softening our hold, and making space for something new.
Letting go looks different for everyone. Some find release in movement—hiking up a mountain, feeling the rhythm of their breath match their steps. Others find solace in stillness, whether through meditation, prayer, or simply sitting in the quiet of an early morning. Across different cultures and spiritual traditions, letting go is often tied to rituals, moments of surrender, and trust in something greater than ourselves. Buddhists practice non-attachment, reminding us that holding too tightly to anything, whether good or bad, can lead to suffering. In Christianity, surrendering our burdens to a higher power is an act of faith. Indigenous healing traditions often involve ceremonies that release past pain and welcome renewal. No matter what path we follow, the idea remains the same: we are not meant to carry everything forever.
But what about the things that feel impossible to release? The heartbreak that lingers for years, the guilt that follows us around, or the anxiety that whispers in the back of our minds? These are not things we can simply decide to let go of overnight. Letting go is not a one-time event; it’s a process, a practice we return to again and again.
The Small Ways We Learn to Release
We often think of letting go in the context of big, life-altering events, but it’s something we face in small ways every day. Maybe it’s choosing not to react when someone cuts us off in traffic or not dwelling on a mistake we made at work. It’s in the way we release expectations—of how our lives should look, of how others should treat us, of how quickly we should heal. Letting go is in the moments when we decide to stop proving, stop resisting, and start allowing life to unfold.
When the Past Holds On
For those who have experienced trauma, letting go is an especially delicate journey. Our nervous systems are wired to protect us, and when we’ve been through something painful, our bodies and minds hold onto that experience in ways we don’t always understand. The idea of releasing that pain can feel like a betrayal of what we’ve been through. But letting go of trauma isn’t about pretending it never happened—it’s about making peace with the past so it no longer controls the present. This might involve therapy, body-based healing practices, or even creative expression. Whatever form it takes, healing comes when we learn to feel safe again.
The Struggle with Worry
Anxiety thrives on control. It convinces us that if we just think about something enough, worry about it enough, or prepare for every possible outcome, we can avoid pain. But in reality, control is an illusion. Life is unpredictable, and the more we try to grip tightly, the more anxious we become. Letting go of anxiety is about learning to trust—not just in others, but in ourselves. It’s about recognizing that we don’t have to have all the answers, that we can handle uncertainty, and that we are capable of navigating whatever comes our way. Therapy can be incredibly helpful in this process, offering tools and support for those who struggle with the cycle of anxious thoughts.
Holding On to Heartache
Grief is one of the hardest things to let go of because, in many ways, we don’t want to. Grief is love that has nowhere to go, and the idea of moving on can feel like letting go of the person, the relationship, or the life we lost. But letting go of grief doesn’t mean forgetting. It means finding a way to carry our love forward while still allowing ourselves to live. It means recognizing that our hearts are big enough to hold both sorrow and joy, that we can miss someone and still make room for new experiences. Therapy, support groups, or simply talking about our grief can help us process and integrate it in a way that allows us to move forward without losing what we hold dear.
When Relationships End
One of the hardest things to let go of is a relationship that once meant everything. Whether it’s a romantic relationship, a deep friendship, or even a family bond that has changed, moving on can feel like losing a part of ourselves. The memories, the shared experiences, and the comfort of familiarity can make it difficult to imagine life without that connection. But letting go doesn’t mean erasing the past—it means honoring what was while making space for what will be. It means allowing ourselves to grieve while also embracing the possibility of new relationships, new love, and new ways of being.
Breaking Free from Old Patterns
For those who struggle with addictive behaviors, letting go can be especially challenging. Whether it’s alcohol, drugs, gambling, or even compulsive habits like work or social media, addiction often provides a sense of control, escape, or relief. Letting go means facing the discomfort we were trying to numb in the first place. It means learning new ways to cope, new ways to soothe ourselves, and new ways to find meaning. Recovery is not about willpower alone—it’s about support, accountability, and learning to trust ourselves again. Therapy and peer support can be essential tools in this process, offering guidance as we navigate the path toward healing.

A Path Forward
No matter what we’re trying to release, therapy can be a powerful tool in helping us navigate that journey. Sometimes, we don’t even realize what we’re holding onto until we say it out loud to someone who truly listens. A therapist can help us untangle the stories we’ve told ourselves, uncover the fears that keep us stuck, and find healthier ways to cope. Letting go isn’t about erasing the past—it’s about giving ourselves permission to live fully in the present. It’s about finding the courage to loosen our grip, trusting that we don’t have to carry everything alone.
At First Step Men's Therapy, we understand how difficult it can be to let go. Whether you’re struggling with trauma, anxiety, grief, a past relationship, or addictive behaviors, we’re here to support you. Healing is possible, and you don’t have to do it alone. If you’re ready to take that first step, we’re here to walk with you.
At First Step Men's Therapy, we offer anxiety therapy and therapy for grief, addiction, trauma, self-esteem, and relationship issues among others. We work with men across Canada and offer in-person therapy in Toronto, Ottawa, and Oshawa. Book a free 20-minute consultation today!