Every month, we chat with one of our talented team members to learn more about their work, interests, and approach to therapy.
What’s on your therapist bookshelf at the moment?
The (audio) book I’m currently working through is "Designing Your Life" by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans. It guides individuals in building and designing a life that brings joy and fosters a sense of thriving. I grew up in a home where Dad paid the bills and Mom raised the kids, a script that few of us can follow today. I’m hopeful that "Designing Your Life" will help me assist others in building a thriving life in a society very different from the one my parents raised me in.
What inspired you to become a therapist, and how do your personal experiences shape your approach to counseling?
I consider myself the product of very fortunate things coming together. Before becoming a therapist I was in a career built around serving and walking alongside others. After a very positive experience as a client, what felt like a spiritual prompting from God, I started the transition towards becoming a therapist.
The personal experiences that have shaped me the most have come from walking alongside and behind leaders of great character for an extended period of time. Their presence, support, and confidence in me did more than any singular lesson they verbalized. You need others to reflect back what they see in you for you to gain the confidence to believe in yourself. That’s part of the magic of therapy.
Can you share a bit about your therapeutic philosophy and the theoretical approaches you integrate into your practice?
I love Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) because it integrates an attachment-based, systemic, and present-focused approach. I also incorporate Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) for its practical, skill-building techniques, which add variety to the therapist's toolkit. While most of us draw from multiple approaches, EFT and DBT are usually my starting points.
What do you believe is the most important factor in a successful therapeutic relationship?
To answer this, I’m drawing more from my experience as a client than as a therapist. The most important thing for me as a client has been feeling understood. When I’ve felt most understood, I’ve felt safe enough to stumble towards my goals.
How do you handle situations where a client is resistant to change or feels stuck?
My very first therapeutic mentor who I interned with was unbelievable helpful here. She told me that if you feel stuck, they feel stuck, and that the best thing to do is to address the elephant in the room. Another supervisor said to myself and some colleagues that when you hear “I don’t know” it means your very close to the next important insight or experience.
In your experience, what are some common misconceptions about therapy, and how do you work to address and overcome them in your practice?
One common misconception is that people come to therapy just to complain and eventually blame their parents for all their problems. Listen, none of us escape our upbringing scot-free, so I understand where the trope comes from. When you come to therapy, I really want to hear what you hope to get out of it and how we’ll know if we’re making progress. Answering those questions helps us better determine the relevance of family history and tailor our approach to ensure we are moving in the right direction.
What’s your favourite self-care activity?
I’ve got three: riding my motorcycle, playing games with friends, and, as a recent surprise to myself, painting.
What do you find most rewarding about being a therapist?
As a client, you put a lot of trust in your therapist to hold secure your deepest and most honest thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Playing such a unique role in the lives of a diverse range of people has been a real privilege. I can’t think of another profession that allows for such depth of human connection with such a variety of individuals.
Without this career, I would have never gotten to know so deeply so many kinds of people, from college students to retirees, from construction workers to surgeons, and from various socio-economic backgrounds and cultures. I could truly go on and on about the diversity of people I’ve had the opportunity to know and help; that’s been the greatest joy.
What would you say to someone who has never been in therapy before and may be considering taking that first step and reaching out?
You likely didn’t sew your own clothes, build your own car, or raise the food you eat. You didn’t engineer the phone you scroll with, or source the material that your home is made of. My point is this: Don’t let the stigma of not solving your current issue by yourself keep you from getting the help you need. You already accept the help of hundreds of people in a thousand different areas of life. Whatever it is you are facing, you aren’t the first and you won’t be the last. We are here when you’re ready.