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Working with a Male Therapist

Updated: Jul 31, 2023

Male client and male therapist during counselling session

First Step Men's Therapy helps men across Ontario, Canada develop healthier relationships with themselves and others. We offer individual, couples, and group counselling to men and their families online using our secure telehealth platform.

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Is working with a male therapist any different?

Often I explore with a client why they selected me, a cisgender male, as their therapist rather than a female-identifying therapist. The question, often posed in a reflective way, often provides a plethora of reasons and thoughts on the subject that are interesting and fruitful to discuss within this post.

Here are some of the common things I hear:

  • I am struggling with (insert presenting issue), and I felt uncomfortable talking about this with a female therapist.

  • I have a difficult relationship with women in my life, and I wanted to find a space to talk openly with another man about my challenges.

  • I wanted a male perspective on (insert presenting issue), and hope that as a male therapist you might help me to understand or explore it better or know how I feel when I say what I am struggling with

  • I find it difficult to be vulnerable and open with women, and in order for me to open up in therapy I need to feel like it's a space where I feel safe to be vulnerable and not hold back

Keep in mind, many of these may hold truth or may be subject to generalizations. There are some amazing female therapists that can offer the same benefits and experiences. From my perspective, one of the main reasons that men seek a male therapist is that they consciously (or subconsciously) need a male role model in their life.

Many men lacked an effective or healthy model of intimacy with a man growing up

For many men, they lacked a present, grounded, healthy, masculine, and emotionally intimate father or male caregiver growing up and thus, missed out on many of the opportunities and experiences that would have allowed them to be open, vulnerable, intimate, connected, and a healthy masculine representation in their adult lives. Many of the men I see struggle with addiction, depression, anger, emotional dysregulation, and shame that are somewhat connected to absent or uninvolved father-role models growing up.

Working with a male therapist often leads to a therapeutic environment that models the father-son dynamic, where clients can learn healthy intimacy, healthy connection, healthy expression of emotions, and positive coping skills through a positive therapeutic relationship with the therapist.

Want to learn more?

Men's Issues/Healthy Masculinity Therapy: Click here

Father Wound Therapy: Click here

Anger Therapy: Click here

Check out our blog post on what are "men's issues"?: Click here

Check out our blog post on "Do I have a Father Wound?": Click here

Check out our blog post on the highs and lows of being a new father: Click here

First Step Men's Therapy has many male therapists on staff that specialize in a wide range of presenting issues, including anger, anxiety, sex addiction, depression, shame and low self-worth, grief, sex and porn addiction, trauma and PTSD, and dating and relationships. We offer virtual therapy and counselling across Ontario including Toronto, Mississauga, Brampton, Kitchener-Waterloo, London, St. Catherine's, Barrie, Kingston, Peterborough, Ottawa, Windsor, Chatham, Sudbury, North Bay, and Thunder Bay - and everywhere in between!

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